New Relationship Concept Explained: Parasyncity and Parasinlysis.

November 7th, 2024 – British Columbia, Canada
By: Kelly Daniel Williamson

Introduction

Relationships in the current century are increasingly focusing less on dependency alongside intimacy and focusing more on coexisting independence, rather than interdependence, affecting how couples and individuals coexist in shared spaces. This document introduces two original terms into the common lexicon, Parasyncity and Parasinlysis, as conceptual frameworks for balanced cohabitation that respects individual pursuits or boundaries, and for imbalanced cohabitation that does not. These terms aims to help conceptualize the delicate interplay dynamics between presence and independence in partner relationships  (Bowlby, 1969; Ainsworth, 1978), providing couples with language to explain the often-hidden feelings associated with coexisting in a fulfilling, low-conflict way.

Definitions:

Parasyncity

Parasyncity (noun)

para·sync·i·ty | \ˌpa-rə-ˈsin-sə-tē\

1. The state of coexisting harmoniously in the same physical space while engaging in separate, individual activities, especially within romantic relationships; a balanced form of side-by-side independence that supports both personal autonomy and companionship.

Example: The couple’s relationship thrived on parasyncity, as they spent evenings together, with one playing video games on the couch while the other read a book beside them.

Parasinlysis

Parasinlysis (noun)

para·sin·ly·sis | \ˌpa-rə-ˈsin-lə-sis\

1. The breakdown or disruption of harmonious coexistence in a shared space due to unintentional intrusion or interference with a partner’s

Example: The couple’s relationship entered parasinlysis when one partner’s loud phone conversation broke the other’s focus on a work project, causing tension in their shared space.

Conceptual Framework

Parasyncity: Synchronizing Independent Coexistence

Parasyncity represents a mutual, harmonious, and respectful coexistence where both partners engage in separate activities while sharing a physical space. This is distinct from “parallel play” observed in children; instead, parasyncity involves a conscious, mature agreement to pursue individual fulfillment through engaging hobbies and interests within a partnership, fostering both intimacy and autonomy.

Parasinlysis: Breakdown of Coexistent Harmony

Parasinlysis, on the other hand, occurs when one partner’s presence disrupts the other’s activity, either intentionally or inadvertently, imposing on their personal space. This term gives voice to the concept and emphasizes the need for clearly communicated and established boundaries within shared spaces. Such negotiation can prevent one partner’s activities from infringing upon the other’s use of space. Over time, as this behavior becomes routine, it should develop into a second-nature consideration.

Key Benefits of Working towards a Parasyncitic Relationships

1. Fostering Personal Growth and Fulfillment: Parasyncity provides a ‘safe container’ for individual growth within a committed relationship, allowing partners to pursue their interests without feeling neglected.

2. Reinforcing Emotional Security: Studies show that the presence of a familiar person nearby, even without direct engagement, can reduce stress responses and increase security.

3. Minimizing Conflict Through Clear Boundaries: Parasyncity helps couples establish implicit boundaries within shared spaces, reducing conflict and fostering mutual respect.

Strategies to Consider when Navigating Towards Parasyncity and Parasinlysis

For Parasyncity to blossom, couples should aim to create flexible personal zones in their homes, set activity-specific boundaries, and maintain open lines of communication in their relationship to avoid Parasinlysis. As an example, one technique couples could use would be to designate specific times for solo activities, showing signs or signals (e.g. Headphones). This may help couples enjoy indepedent moments without feeling as though they are sacrificing their personal development or leisure time.

Parasyncity and Parasinlysis aims to offer a new framework for couples to understand and manage the balance of independence and intimacy when cohabitating shared spaces over long-term living. By defining these dynamics, couples can better articulate their needs and create harmonious, resilient partnerships where personal space and companionship coexist.

*Important Note: Kelly Daniel Williamson is neither a licensed therapist nor a trained psychologist. The terms presented here were independently coined by Williamson as part of a personal exploration and theorization of relationship dynamics.*